May 16th, 2021 | Old ideas
Today I spent the whole day on the beach reading books, with my girlfriend. Lately, I have a recurring ill thought that crosses my mind. A voice that tells me that I don't deserve what I have. A hobby that has turned into a job. A perfect location. Living on one of the most beautiful islands in the world. With my girlfriend. My health. My youth. My time. Every time, I have to try to persuade myself that I have worked hard for this. Remind myself that two years ago I was working for $500/month in Greece. Doing a job I hated. So much in fact, that I had started hating my life. And then further convince myself that I shouldn't feel guilty. What I have is nothing compared to others. Many people would feel sorry for me, with my $5k/mo lifestyle internet business. I haven't achieved any kind of remarkable business success, but I feel like I escaped. I'm living life on my own terms, in a way that feels true to myself. And not by living on someone else's schedule. Even thought I did that only for a couple of years after university, it was killing me from the inside. And I know that I'm not alone in feeling that. Probably you also, reading this can empathize. Unless you are a web scrapper, of course. But what's most interesting is that these thoughts are not even unique to our era. Almost all people that have lived sometime in the past few thousands of years have had the exact same thoughts and feelings. And how do we know that? Well.. by reading old, timeless books. Today I read Seneca's "On the shortness of life". It is a small, two thousand year old book. And it talks about the exact same things. "That life is not short, it is just wasted. It is wasted by living on other people's schedule." "We are stingy with our money and our land, but when it comes to our time, we are not." "That you should not envy the successful person with the office robe. For he is the slave of his clients and his boss." How scary! And how beautiful! To know that we share the exact same thoughts, insecurities, fears and dreams with people that lived and died thousands of years before us. People we will never hear of. And people that never heard about us. But we share common thoughts. Maybe, the most important questions and ideas are the old ideas. Maybe those idea are the ones we should occupy our mind with. And not getting lost in the zeitgeist of our era. That makes you blind and a sheep.