December 21, 2020 | Freedom

Today I woke up and wrote "Day One" on my notebook.

First day waking up, self employed.

I am my own boss now. With the good and the bad that comes with it.

I am no longer an employee, being fed milk from the tit of a company.

However, I no longer have a nice, cozy salary rolling in every month.

I have absolute freedom now. I can do whatever I want. Whenever I want. However I want. With who ever I want.

I don't have `fuck you` money yet, but I definitely have `fuck you` freedom.

Let's see if I can handle it, or if I will crack under the pressure of having zero constraints.

On one hand, I have a fire inside me, that gives me confidence that I'll perform.

I have burnt my ships now. Similar to how the conquerers intentionally burned their ships when they arrived at the place they wanted to conquer.

You either succeed or die trying. There is no way out.

Of course, that's a figure of speech. In my case, I can always just find another job. But I would rather paint the walls in my room with my brains.

Ok, back to having zero constraints.

Although it sounds great, it's actually dangerous.

Having a full time job forced me to be productive.

Probably because I'm lazy by nature. I was forced to work only two hours per day, so I made them count and did the shit I had to do.

Now, I will have to place my constraints myself.

This newly found freedom, honestly, doesn't feel real yet. Today feels like a casual Saturday. Even though it's Tuesday. In my mind I'm just chilling and working on Cyberleads, waiting for Monday to come again.

Who knows. Maybe it never feels real. Or the way I thought it would feel.

Just like every other personal goal I have achieved. Usually it's something epic in my mind. I fantasize about it. Think about it day and night. Hoping one day it will come and everything will be different. And then it arrives, and it's just "meh".

Today I woke up and didn't feel any different.

Actually today I woke up and felt terrible. With a hangover.

I drank too much last night. I was celebrating, drinking beers and watching stupid American movies with my girlfriend, laughing our asses off.

My TODO list looks like a bomb hit it. So much stuff to be done. The last few weeks I wasn't working on Cyberleads at all.

I suspect I'll be done with most in a couple of days.

In the meantime, I want to do in December exactly what I did last December.

Introspect. And plan the next year.

Go through all my learnings.

Study all my blog posts.

The daily ones. The weekly ones. The monthly ones.

Read "2 years of building products" again. Read "Plans for 2020" again. Read "2.5 years of building products" again.

Write a new blog post called "Why I left my job". Write another new blog post called "3 years of building products". Write a third new blog post called "Plans for 2021".

Go over all my notes.

Write down a few little nuggets of information I may have forgotten.

Redesign my blog a tiny bit.

I'm planning to write a lot in 2021.

It brings me clarity. And I need that right now.

Last but not least, I am going to radically redesign my lifestyle from the ground up.

Excited does not even describe what I feel.

Today is day one.



@alexwestco